Societal expectations suggest that intimacy should be effortless and spontaneous, but there can be great pleasure in planned intimacy
Having a spinal cord injury comes and navigating the world of relationships and intimacy is no exception. One pervasive myth that often affects individuals with spinal cord injuries is the belief that sex must be spontaneous.
Society teaches us that the most genuine connections happen effortlessly, like a scene from a romantic movie. However, this myth can be particularly damaging to those with disabilities, as planning becomes a necessary component of intimacy.
In reality, embracing planned intimacy can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. The notion that sex should be spontaneous is deeply ingrained in societal expectations. This idea suggests that true connection and passion should unfold effortlessly, like a with its own set of challenges, perfectly choreographed dance.
Factors such as timing, accessible spaces and assistive devices are a few examples that can increase anxiety and subsequently lessen the enjoyment of sex if not considered.
Ignoring practical difficulties and evaluating sexual encounters based on what we’ve seen in movies and series guarantees feelings of inadequacy and despondency. At its core, sex is a process of communication, a way of connecting with ourselves and our partners.
Whether it’s the initial sparks of flirting, the exploration of new experiences, or the intimate act of making love, being sexual requires a deep connection with one’s desires and the ability to convey them effectively.
The notion that this process can occur without thought, discussion, or planning is unrealistic and dismissive of the work that goes into relationships. The reluctance to embrace planned intimacy often stems from the difficulty of discussing desires openly.
Engaging in conversations about one’s sexual preferences, needs, and concerns can be intimidating, leaving individuals feeling exposed and vulnerable. Society often associates vulnerability with weakness, further complicating the already challenging task of discussing intimate matters.
Initiating these discussions is in fact the opposite of weakness, it takes courage to have difficult conversations. Breaking the silence is a crucial step toward building a satisfying sex life and the only way for others to become aware of, and meet your sexual needs.
Open communication about desires, boundaries, and preferences is essential for creating an environment of trust and understanding. By initiating these conversations, individuals can empower themselves to advocate for their needs, fostering a deeper connection with their partners.
Contrary to the myth, planning can enhance the intimacy and satisfaction of sexual experiences for individuals with spinal cord injuries. Establishing a comfortable environment, addressing accessibility needs, and discussing desires in advance can contribute to a more relaxed and enjoyable experience.
Moreover, planning allows for creativity and exploration, as partners can collaboratively design experiences that cater to their unique preferences.
Dispelling the myth that sex must be spontaneous is crucial for individuals living with spinal cord injuries. Embracing planned intimacy not only addresses the practical considerations of accessibility but also fosters open communication, trust, and a deeper connection with one’s partner.
By challenging societal expectations and advocating for the importance of planned intimacy, individuals with spinal cord injuries can pave the way for a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life.
