Life’s negative experiences can be turned into something both positive and self-affirming.
I was sitting at home one evening minding my own business when suddenly I received a distressing phone call. Our office was being restructured and I was one of the people affected. But what was traumatising was that I was instructed to submit my resignation letter the next day and start serving my one month’s notice. How do you terminate my contract and then ask me to resign? How does that happen? I sat there in disbelief. The next day I didn’t submit the letter because I felt I needed more time to think about it all. Like most people I too have responsibilities. I have bills to pay and a future to think about. Having a disability is a very expensive lifestyle and something not to be taken lightly. That was the beginning of a long and upsetting two months of my life. Long story short: my matter is now under dispute.
Three weeks later I fell ill. I was emotionally and mentally exhausted. Sitting in my doctor’s room, all I could do was cry. My doctor referred me to a psychiatric hospital to be treated for depression. I’ve never in my entire life been treated for depression. As a qualified trauma counsellor, I’ve always managed to pull through every hard situation. But this time around, the emotions were heavier than I thought. There I was, admitted to be treated for a mental illness.
In time, I came to realise that depression is not a natural disease. It is not an inevitable part of being human. Like many diseases, depression is a disease of civilisation, caused by a high-stress, industrialised, modern lifestyle that is incompatible with our genetic evolution.
The whole process left me feeling emotionally bullied. However, even though being bullied is an awful thing to go through, it can also be a great opportunity! I decided to use bullies as motivators to define my own self-worth. Life’s challenges should not paralyse you. Instead, let them help you discover your potential and use them to cultivate personal growth. Be strong but not rude. Be kind but not weak. Be bold but not a bully. Be humble but not timid. Be thoughtful but not lazy. Be proud but not arrogant. Have humour without folly. Don’t concern yourself with other people’s opinions. The opinions that come from other people have nothing to do with you. Whatever people think of you is really about the image they have of you, and that image isn’t you.
Emilie Olifant is a disability activist, entrepreneur and motivational speaker. She is the director of the Emilie Olifant Foundation, an organisation that strives to address socio-economic issues experienced by people with disabilities. email: emilie.olifant@gmail.com
