Parents and caregivers of children with disailities are at risk of burning out. Emma McKinney highlights the need for the parents to take care of themselves as well
For many parents and caregivers of children with disabilities, their primary focus is on caring for and supporting their child or children with disabilities. There can be many additional things that we have to think about compared to parents of children without disabilities.
Some children require physical help with dressing, feeding, transferring into wheelchairs, turning, taking medication, personal hygiene and daily living tasks such as washing, toileting, catheterisation, diaper changing.
Some of us spend significant time, energy and resources ensuring that our children receive therapy, get to doctors and specialist appointments, have the food, medication and assistive devices they need, and that their daily needs are met. This can leave us feeling physically, emotionally and financially drained.
It is important that we make time for ourselves. Very often this is difficult to do as we feel guilty; that we should be with our children 24 hours, seven days a week; that our children won’t cope without us; that we shouldn’t be spending time on ourselves; and, that we will be judged by others.
This pressure often leads us to not take time off. We feel burned out, anxious and depleted. The pressures that we face often takes a toll on our relationships between partners, family members, and our friends.
It is important that you carefully plan some time off. This might involve careful logistics, especially if your child needs medication, specialist feeding, routines or support. Find someone that you trust, this might be a friend or family member, to look after your child. This might only be possible for 30 minutes, but it will be so worth it!
While it is often very hard to do, we should try make some time for ourselves. Here are some ideas that you might want to try:
- Get outdoors. Just getting some fresh air and being in a different environment can lift your spirits and give you some perspective.
- Read a book or magazine. Find a quiet spot, away from your home, and just switch off.
- Organise to go for a walk, sit on a park bench, or have a coffee with a friend who you haven’t seen for a while.
- Go on a lunch or dinner date with your partner and reconnect. If this is too much, pack a takeaway lunch or tea and go to a local park, sit in your car and look at a view.
- Listen to music that you enjoy, close your eyes and relax, or dance and have some fun. • Sit on the beach and dig your feet in the sand or go for a swim.
- Have a haircut, look at something beautiful, or stroke or pat an animal.
- Make a call to a friend or family member, or write them a letter.
- Start a diary and jot down your feelings or just put ideas down.
While this might be very difficult at first, making time for yourself, even if it is 30 minutes once a week, can really give you energy and focus to keep going.
