To help people with spinal cord injuries to live a sexually fulfilling life, Danie Breedt debunks some of the misconceptions about sex after an injury
There are many misconceptions regarding sexuality and sex, which can cause emotions such as fear and guilt to name but a few. Sexual rehabilitation for people with spinal cord injuries (SCIs) involves educating and empowering them to have fulfilling and satisfying sexual experiences – a process that is unique to everyone. In this article, four myths about sexuality after a SCI is debunked.
“After the SCI, I won’t be able to have sex”
A person with a SCI will be able to have sex. What is the most important sexual organ? The brain! The way in which the person has sex will change. The ability to be creative and playful will be vital. There are other options available that facilitate a sexual experience for the person with a SCI.
This will also be largely dependent on the site of the injury and whether there is sensation. There are many people with SCIs who have satisfying and rewarding sexual experiences.
“I won’t be able to satisfy my partner’s sexual needs”
The challenge is to speak to your partner about what switches them on sexually and to share your sexual needs. This allows each party to have a better understanding on how to pleasure their partner. Some partners of people with SCIs have shared that the sex after the injury is more fulfilling.
“My partner will leave me because I can’t satisfy his/her needs sexually”
Sexuality is a human need, but it is only one aspect of a person. There are numerous factors that contribute to who we are, for example, social factors, spiritual beliefs, hobbies and personal interests. Relationships include many needs and are seldom based on only one.
The focus in relationships should be the mutual fulfilment of each other’s needs. Focusing just on the sexual part of a relationship is short-sighted and can be unfulfilling if other aspects don’t also receive attention.
“I can’t have children because of the spinal cord injury”
This is unique to every individual and many factors come into play. After the SCI, you may be able to impregnate your partner and, if female, you could still become pregnant. It is important to speak to a sexologist and medical professional to find out what the options in your case might be. The SCI itself doesn’t cause infertility.
In order to have a satisfying sexual experience, it is important to be aware of the misconceptions and myths that exist as this can be limiting. The foundation of a fulfilling sexual experience consists of communicating about the misconceptions and expressing sexual needs in an effective manner.
