Rolling Inspiration reader, Danielle Richardson has a speech impediment. She submitted a poem about how she came to terms with her disability. Here is her story:
Belief starts with us, it affects our mindset, emotionally, mentally and physically. Speech is similar; it’s energetical.
There came a time in my rehabilitation that I had to face the fact that the only person who could really change me was me. The only person who could take responsibility for the choices I continued to make year on year was me, and no amount of whining, transferring, smoking, hurting other people through my actions or self-denial was going to enable me. The only person who could help me, was me.
In my next meeting with my therapist, I was tearful over a student who was nasty to me after a miscommunication. I was having a self-pity party. My therapist sternly stopped me: Danielle are you here to offload to me every time you see me? Or are you here to learn how to communicate better?
“I’m not a counsellor,” he continued. “I’m a speech and language therapist.” As I tried to play the victim card, he stopped me again. He recounted the Greek mythology of the trickster Sisyphus.
Sisyphys wronged the gods and, as a punishment, had to push a giant rock up a steep hill every day. When he reached the top of the hill, the rock rolled back down. He repeated the exercise day in and day out.
He continued to share a story about the Forth Road Bridge in Scotland: “It’s continually being painted. Once all of its painted, because it’s so big, they’ve got to start again. Also, due to the nature of water and paint breakdown, it needs to have another coat continually added to it, for maintenance purposes.”
He simply asked, which one was I: a Sisyphus or Forth Road Bridge?
“You’re the Forth Road Bridge,” he said. “Because what we’re doing isn’t pointless and counterproductive like Sisyphus. It’s adding maintenance and substance to aid strength and keep you standing steady; to cope better with the challenging variables in life.”
He reminded me that crying for two to three hours would be like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill. There is no denying that there will be battles and torment, but these should be lessons for the next time. Progress not regress.
With my severe dysarthria, it is difficult to know if it will improve or not, but I can improve my coping mechanisms. Scientists simply don’t know enough about the brain to say how your speech will progress, time does. Therapy would provide me with useful aids, tools and coping mechanisms.
It was at this point in my therapy that a light switched on, it triggered a nerve, it stopped the hysteria and need to wallow in my pitiful self. There’s only so long one can continue down this path before something or someone flicks a switch and ignites a fire again.
Five years was enough. I am the Forth Road Bridge – not Sisyphus!
If we can change our mindset,
uld you imagine who you could be?
An athletic, a musician, as tall as a tree,
Can you change the thought of what defines me?
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
Life will always come, with opposing choices,
It may not feel like so, because we become unresponsive.
But if you are able to look deep inside, your bodies evasive,
Their will be a seed ready to sprout, from being your bravest.
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
When we stand still, waiting for life to start,
Instead of being the instigator and finding the spark.
Of change that only comes internally, making your mark,
In a different mindset from resources learned, is smart.
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
When we expect to get fit, by lying on the couch,
And wonder why we still have, a kangaroo pouch.
Moaning and groaning, from our sitting slouch,
Expecting others to fix and mend, our grouch.
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
Using our mouth instead of our heart,
Understanding that exercise is a much kinder art.
At moving energetical barriers, of limited head start,
envisaging life’s dreams, don’t come with a routined chart.
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
And don’t read this wrong, I wouldn’t be here today,
Shining my story, without so much love and professional play.
But one day we have to let go, and continue living our way,
Using the tools and guidance, we are so grateful, in, not throwing away.
Imagine, imagine, what you could be,
If you are able to see yourself differently.
We need love from our heart, in life to heal from within,
To remember the connection, of how this stuff all got in.
To comprehend, how courageous we can be, in releasing the pain,
And choosing to find different people, who are not looking to blame.
Imagine, Imagine, what you could be,
If you are able, to see yourself differently.
And this is the hard part, the lesson from all this,
It’s ultimately your choice, in the path you wish to live.
Accountability and responsibility all begins, with you
And the only real person you’re ever fighting, is…….
Imagine, Imagine, what you could be,
If you are able to see yourself differently.