Ageing with a disability is not for sissies, but being proactive can help make the best of this time
As we grow older, we tend to share some common traits. Our hairlines recede or our hair goes underground only to pop out of our ears and noses. One thing we all share is that our hair turns into various shades of silver. Wheelchair users become Silver Rollers.
(How about a t-shirt, “Silver Roller”, with a cartoon of an ou-toppie in a chair? On the back, a message to the able-bodied slap- gats of life: “If I can do it, so can you”.)
Jokes aside, for people with mobility impairments the well-known saying “Growing old is not for sissies” can be accentuated by adding “most definitely not for sissies”.
For those of us who suffered a spinal cord injury, the new normal that we settled into starts to change. Yesterday’s norms fade and next year’s norms become unpredictable.
For those of us with progressive disabling disorders, shifting norms is our expectation but, like toilet rolls, as we near the end, our norms run out faster… (Please bear with another joke to soften a serious, life-changing reality.)
Life with a mobility impairment teaches us to be patient and instils a resilience that helps us to adapt and adjust to our new norms. But unfortunately for many, myself included, training in savvy is sorely lacking.
We do not look after ourselves. We use our disabilities as an excuse to indulge. “Eating is one of the few remaining joys of life, so why not?” and “Exercise is such a schlep and it doesn’t take away my disability, so why bother?”
We grow fat and flabby while we enjoy what there is left for us to enjoy. Until age creeps up on us and we start to taste the lemons of our sloth…
What to do? Here are a few pointers. Not only for the elderly! The sooner we start, the better.
Reason for being
Find yourself a reason for wanting to get up in the morning. Anything, whatever grabs you. Don’t give up on life. You have value. Just find it. Don’t just regress into nothingness, Become someone of value.
Remember, we are human beings not human doings. We are defined by who we are more so than by what we do. Even if your disability limits your abilities, become a being of value.
Drink more (water)
Water, not beer and certainly not fizzy cooldrinks. Drinking lots of water helps the kidneys to flush out all the bodily sewerage floating around in your blood. It also helps to reduce the swelling of sausage feet.
Eat less
Most of the food we eat is used for energy to keep the body and brain going. All excess food is converted into fat. If half or three quarters of your body is paralysed, your body uses less energy. Thus, more food is converted into fat.
See a dietician to plan an appropriate diet. Crash diets invariably don’t work as your brain does not have time to adjust. Even if you lost a lot of weight quickly, your brain would make sure that you regain the lost weight just as quickly.
Exercise
If any part of your body is still functional, get an exercise programme from a Biokinetics. If you are able to roll yourself, shoulder care is of the utmost importance, followed by spinal, back and abdominal muscle care as these provide the core stability that allow your shoulders and arms to function optimally.
While maintaining strength is important, vertebral and shoulder joint stability must be your focus point. A shoulder rotator cuff injury could easily turn a paraplegic into a functional quadriplegic. Ask your therapist for joint-stabiliser muscle exercises. Rather do more repetitions with lighter weights or elastic bands than trying to be young and ego-driven in your exercises.
Use smooth and slow movements. Jerking weights or bands for quick-lifts places tremendous strain on your aging tendon attachments and can easily land you with a tennis or golfer’s elbow or a torn rotator cuff. (I write from personal experience. In my madness, I managed to suffer from them all over time.) Don’t try to develop your own training programme, get yourself assessed and follow a professionally compiled exercise programme.
Stretches
Sitting in a wheelchair tends to cause haunching of our shoulders and our heads tend to slide down our chests. This results in our necks sitting in front of our shoulders rather than on top. If you don’t believe me, look at your side profile in a mirror. I guarantee that you will be appalled at the sight. I certainly was…
On a more serious note, this posture can pinch the nerves that work your arms and hands, causing stiffness, pins and needles and loss of function. Rather than running to a Neurosurgeon, ask your therapist for stretching exercises to un-haunch your shoulders.
For my hunch, I do a John Travolta (Saturday Night Fever) straight arm stretch-swings from my knee to behind my ear; as well as a reverse-Alan-Donald bowling action, front to back straight arm reverse bowling action. For better alignment, I lie on my back looking straight ahead. I then push my head back against the pillow and hold it for 10 seconds with 15 repeats. (Don’t look up.)
If I do these basic stretches, my arms are fine. If I stop them, my symptoms come back. So, every morning first thing, I do my stretches.
Passive movements
For the part of your body that cannot exercise, passive movements by your carer are essential, especially when we grow older. Without passive movements you could end up in a state of pre-mortem rigor mortis, which loosely translates as unmanageable stiff joints while still alive. Talk to your Bio-therapist about a programme that will suit your needs.
Practice routine functions
Short and to the point, if you find that you are starting to struggle with things that previously came naturally, make a point of practicing that movement to activate the brain-limb connection.
If this does not work, get utensils that will help: a tool to help with shirt buttons; a special fork or spoon to get food into your mouth. Don’t be proud, be proactive.
Skin and nail care
As we grow older our skins become thinner and friable. A dry skin even more so. This makes us more susceptible to pressure sores and infections. Our nails become brittle and often thicken, making nail care difficult. Regular application of moisturising creams to our skins become important as does frequent nail care, including (if possible) periodic visits to a podiatrist.
Exercise your brain
Forgetting things does not necessarily mean dementia. As we grow older, we tend to forget things. So, exercise your brains. I hate Sudoku and word puzzles, but I like woodwork and planning a new project; designing and measuring, figuring out what lengths and sizes of wood is needed and how to put everything together. It keeps my mind active.
When everything comes together after fixing a few errors and the project is successful, the pleasure of accomplishment keeps my brain (relatively) sharp. (Writing articles like this one also helps.)
Be a friend to someone
Mobility impairment tends to make us lonely. Particularly so after retirement because we lose out on work-related socialisation. People are hesitant to invite us over because their homes are not wheelchair friendly and using their bathroom could be problematic.
Waiting for someone to strike up a friendship with us usually gets us nowhere. So, reach out actively. If you come across someone that you feel you can connect with, make a date for coffee at an accessible coffee shop. As the friendship grows, invite them over.
Be upbeat and positive in your relationships, it is uplifting to both and promotes the relationship. Try not to burden others with your own hardship, but at the same time be empathetic when needed. Having a relationship built on friendship, trust and empathy with one another enriches our lives.
Make time to meditate
Be sure to make place for me-time. Music, a good book or just stepping out of yourself and taking stock of your circumstances and emotions. Plan for your future instead of worrying about it. Especially so when you had a “three o’clock in the morning” experience where the whirlpool of your thoughts and emotions turns into an uncontrollable hurricane.
Stepping out of yourself and taking stock usually brings perspective and mountains return to being molehills. But, if the hurricane settles into a reality of a tropical storm, at least it will allow you to weigh up your options.
Just a last word
I wrote this article for my seventy-one-year- old self, as a survival toolkit, because let’s face it, as we get on in life, living gets tougher by the month as previous norms slip by the wayside…
I hope you find value in reading this. My wish for you is to maintain a sense of self-directed humour, build up a zest for life.
